The Couch Potato has landed.

Dear friends,

I’m a little late posting today. It was a big night ’round our place yesterday. First, Mr. Mom drove all day to pick up a new toy. I wish I could say it was a boy toy because I think Kate and I might enjoy having one around. But it was a boy’s toy, otherwise known as a trials bike, and it looks like this:

That’s Parker on the bike. Doing what boys do. I promise if Mr. Mom attempts such a thing, I’ll show you a photograph. But first I’ll remind him — as I often do — that if he ends up in a sip-and-puff, he’s on his own. (For women not married to stuntmen, a sip-and-puff is a breath-operated wheelchair for quadriplegics. And, yes, I’m callous enough to bail on any man with a self-inflicted spinal injury.)

After the bike arrived, Mr. Mom and Parker made a furniture delivery for me. I am now officially a couch potato.

I am also now officially happy.

It’s a banner weekend, folks. Kate’s rounding it all off with a birthday party/bonfire/cookout tonight. Don’t worry, no teenager reeking of smoke will be allowed near my new sofa. I’ll be hogging the whole thing anyway.

With gratitude {for children old enough to peacefully co-exist with white upholstery},

Joan, who thinks the sip-and-puff rule is the only rational response to extreme sports