The minions want you to know the truth.

Dear friends,

Source: Library of Congress.

I have a friend who does not read my blog. Let’s call her Non-Reader. Non-Reader has known me for many years, both professionally and personally. She knew me when Mr. Mom was Mr. Business Proprietor, which is to say she’s got my number.

Non-Reader and I have a mutual friend who reads my blog. Let’s call her Reader. Reader only knows me professionally and our relationship is relatively new.

So not long ago Reader and Non-Reader were talking and my name came up. Reader began to tell Non-Reader how inspiring I am. I’m paraphrasing what Non-Reader described to me but, basically, Reader said: I love Joan! She’s uh-mazing! Have you read her blog? She’s so accomplished. She has that high-powered job and she manages to do so much. Have you seen the cakes she bakes and the meals she cooks and her beautiful tables? And she’s got such a great family life. And she runs! I don’t know how she does it all!

To which Non-Reader snickered and said: Are you kidding me?!

Non-Reader loves me (and I love her, in spite of the fact that she doesn’t read me), but she’s a friend who always calls BS when she sees it.

So, again, I’m paraphrasing, but Non-Reader said this: Look, I love Joan, too, but let me set you straight. She doesn’t do it all. Joan hasn’t folded a load of laundry or grocery shopped or vacuumed in years. I haven’t seen her cake posts, but don’t be fooled — the woman has minions behind her making that whole illusion possible. Minions!

Reader was crushed, according to Non-Reader, who relayed this story to me with such delight she snorted. (Full disclosure: I was so tickled I snorted too.)

Reader finally said: Well, she’s a really good writer, right?

To which Non-Reader replied: Yes. It’s fair to say she’s doing the actual writing.

And on behalf of the minions (who, in case you missed the credits, are named Mr. Mom, Kate and Parker), I thanked Non-Reader for her considerate acknowledgement of their behind-the-scenes labor.

Their fetching and toting, their schlepping, their food-prepping, their dish-washing and trash-hauling, their whining and griping and back-talking, is the secret ingredient in my blog magic.

And, in an election year, Non-Reader just thought you should know that.

With gratitude {for the non-paid, non-organized labor that sustains my privileged lifestyle},

Joan, who wants her minions to know she prefers the synonym “protege” and not “servant,” “bootlicker,” “lackey,” “stooge” or “toady”



  1. Sandy Shoes says:

    Amen. I thank my minion every day!

  2. How to properly acknowledge the contribution of minions is an age-old question.

    From the vantage point of being an old aged minion myself, I’d like to offer that jewelry encrusted with precious stones is always a good starting place.

  3. Nothing makes me laugh harder than the usage of the word “toady”.

  4. Minions? You have minions? I have to sit down. The charade, the bogus… I prefer to continue to believe blogger Joan is the real Joan. Damn all friends who know the truth. Word to the wise…I only allow people who don’t actually know me to read my blog. It’s just safer that way.

  5. How do I get some of these minions of which you speak? And if one doesn’t have minions, does that mean one is actually someone else’s minion? I fear so. *sigh* I echo Dana’s sentiment that life is MUCH easier when your IRL friends don’t read your blog. BTW – is Non-reader also Our Mutual Friend? 🙂


  1. […] The Minions Want You to Know the Truth […]

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